Is anyone missing their grocery list?

Because it isn't mine!

It's Season 2 of Child Hoarders on the East Coast

I told him to go eat some lunch,
then Tavey & I got busy quick while he was gone.

We found 52 of these little pencils!

We stopped counting rocks at 70 and pieces of just plain garbage has to be in the hundreds!
I am not being sarcastic, it is garbage, like a strangers grocery list, candy wrappers, popped balloon pieces, sticker backs and BROKEN ANYTHINGS.
Now there is a big difference between a filthy dirty room with garbage all over, and garbage that is kept in boxes and bins and behind things.

We heard him coming and quickly closed our lawn sized garbage bag that was half full.
 (Keep in mind we do this quarterly)
He stood in the doorway and I quickly sensed his nervousness. Half of it was wondering what was already gone and the other half was not wanting to help with what looked like a tornado at that point.
I handed him a bunch of old coins that I found in one of his "spots" and told him to put them back in my can where he got them from, and while he was doing that he could look at all the other ones.
 That kept him busy for an hour and we really cleared some junk out of there.
The bag was full!
 I don't know where it all comes from, especially since we do this regularly now.
I will say that I felt a sense of weight lifted from him when he came back in there.
Almost as if he was saying "This feels so much better"
But I know it will only be a matter of time before I am wondering where the wood disappeared to on his dresser underneath the little boxes and tins and things.
And then I will be pulling out stuff that is shoved behind his bed, in his closet and any other place he can find to store stuff.

So why does it bother me?
Hmmm....
1. I have some OCD tendencies myself and cannot stand it!
2. I have a very small house, his room is the smallest and there is no room for, well garbage!
3. I fear or I should say I know that this is not just "being a boy and collecting rocks kind of thing"
4. I owe it to his future wife to try and get this under control.

Now, in the same breath and I have said it before:
I love how this kid loves so many things and finds beauty in what you and I do not.  Pieces of paper, leaves and rocks, all have memories attached to them.
We just have to try and start narrowing down 75 rocks to one or two I think.
Until then the rest are in the driveway : )
I love this kid so much! The biggest reason is because he loves me so much!
And if he never changes, that's just ok too!
I will just keep cleaning his room when he is 40 : )
Now if he starts collecting cats, bats, birds, rats, snakes, bugs or candy corn, then all bets are off...

"An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up."
Proverbs 12:25

Matt's Back!
And he is causing more dysfunction.
At this point I am not sure what anyone here thinks anymore.
I have made it known for years that Christmas is about Jesus, because, well IT IS!
I have told them years ago, and every year, that the gifts they receive are in celebration of Jesus's Birthday and that they are from me. They know about Santa but they have always known not to ruin it for others.
But it seems no matter how much I tell Zev, he still believes, and that is just ok too I guess. Especially since I have this elf doll floating around the house now.
Tonight they asked me when I thought Matt was coming back and I said "I don't know, what does the book say?"
So they go get it out and read it and it says he should come around now, so Zev say's "So is Santa real?"
I said "Zev what do you think?"
He said "I don't know, but what about the elves, do you move it at night and other people move other ones in other houses?"
I said "What do you think?"
He said "I dont know"
I said "You remember that we have talked about Christmas before and that Santa doesn't fly around on a sleigh giving presents out"
He said "Yea I know he cant do that, he uses a plane" (here is where you would insert me doing the Charlie Brown  UGHHHHH)  So I think I give up with him for now! : )
Tavey, (A middle child like myself) shakes her head.
So enjoy Matt's & Zev's hullabaloo and shenanigans this month.
We hope you had a great Thanksgiving and pray that your CHRISTmas season is a BLESSED one filled with love of Christ.

Hayden forgot her lunch but found $1000.00

Dear anonymous person, I am not sure who you are, I could try and guess, there are people in our life who bless us like this in different ways. It always blesses me so to feel such love from people. I believe they are hearing from God and I also believe he is blessing them as well for their acts of love and faithfulness to him. There is no way we could ever make it, it never works out if you look at it on paper, but then it does. Todays blessing, well I say today but I am not exactly sure when this happened. It could have been anytime in the past 13 months but todays blessing that we stumbled upon is courtesy of Hayden forgetting her lunch. We didn't realize it until her carpool ride Mrs. Robin was at my job to pick the kids up in the morning and then I scrambled in my mind how I would get a lunch to her. I saw a friend walking in and borrowed $5 from her and told Hayden that I thought she could order a lunch. I wasn't exactly sure how far in advance you have to order as we never bought a lunch there before. Since changing schools and loosing our free lunches I have been making lunches for the kids. So Hayden goes in and gives her money. When I pick her up for the day she gets in the car and tells me that I did not need to send any money in because there is over 300 dollars in her account. I tell her that there must be some mistake and that I will check into it. Perhaps it is a girls that has a similar name in her class. But she said no that they checked. She said "Its probably God"! I told her that could be possible but I would still check into it. So I contacted the school today. Is this ours? Are we on some kind of a program similar to the free lunch? Is this a mistake?
So it turns out that someone, an anonymous person, maybe someone who is reading this very post, put $1000.00 on our family lunch account. Tavey and Zev also have $333 in their lunch accounts. They are all excited to buy lunch tomorrow, I don't think they care what it is. And I am a little excited too, I may just sleep in 10 extra minutes. So whoever you are, we love you and we ask the Lord like he promises in Malachi that he would pour out his blessings upon you that you would not have enough room to contain it.
I thank my God every time I remember you
Phil 1:3

So where are you men of courage? Say "I Will"

Since it is Fathers Day tomorrow I just wanted to say a big "Thank You"  and Happy Fathers Day! to the many men who often jump in here to help me with my children. You have come to help with homework projects, you have offered them advice, encouraged them, thrown a ball, taken a nature walk with them, paid for books, field trips, tuitions, groceries, car payments, and other necesseties that fall short here, fixed plumbing problems, pastored them and much more. I am so glad that men like you still exist. I am blessed to know you and appreciate you and all that you do for our family. Thank you for being Courageous men and saying "I will" to your own and to others.


If you are a father and struggle with what your job as a father truly is? 
Please first ask the Lord to help you. Then find a man who can help you. 
(As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another Proverbs 27:17)
Also please see the movie Courageous, I believe this to be an amazing tool.


I may not be the Father here, but with all my strength, I say, I will! 
Children need thier fathers, but moms, if dad is gone, 
just do your best, God will honor that!


The final speech of Courageous:


"....A father should love his children and seek to win their hearts.  He should protect them, discipline them, and teach them about God.  He should model how to walk with integrity and treat others with respect, and should call out his children to become responsible men and women who love their lives for what matters in eternity.

Some men will hear this and mock it or ignore it.  But I tell you that as a father, you are accountable to God for the position of influence He has given you.  You can't fall asleep at the wheel, only to wake up on day and realize that your job or your hobbies have no eternal value, but the souls of your children do.  Some men will hear this and agree with it but have no resolve to live it out.  Instead they will live for themselves and waste the opportunity to leave a godly legacy for the next generation.

But there are some men who, regardless of the mistakes we've made in the past, regardless of what our fathers did not do fur us, will give the strength of our arms and the rest of our days to loving God with all that we are and to teach our children to do the same, and whenever possible, to love and mentor others who have no father in their lives but who desperately need help and direction.  And we are inviting any man whose heart is willing and courageous to join us in this resolution.

In my home, the decision has already been made.  You don't have to ask who will guide my family because by God's grace, I will.  You don't have to ask who will teach my son (and daughter) to follow Christ because I will.  Who will accept the responsibility of providing for and protecting my family? I will.  Who will ask God to break the chain of destructive patterns in my family's history? I will. Who will pray for and bless my children to boldly pursue whatever God calls them to do? I am their father...I will.  I accept this responsibility, and it is my privilege to embrace it.

I want the favor of God and His blessing on my home.  Any good man does.  So where are you men of courage?  Where are you, fathers who fear the Lord?  It's time to rise up and answer the call God has give you, and to say I will, I will, I will!"

EPIC PARENT FAILING GOING ON!!!!

Sometimes it seems like I ask the Lord to show me something and I don't see anything in any real quick turn around time. But other times I ask and Wow, He shows me something pretty profound and right when I ask for it.
I asked him what was hurting him?
Tonight we went to a skating party that Hayden and Zev got invitations to when school ended last week for them. It seems a local church rented out the skating rink in fort walton to throw a party for the kids as a celebration for finishing school. As I sat there I kept trying to find other kids or parents that I knew from school so I could have someone to sit and talk with but I and the kids could only recognize two others. So I kept to myself and figured they all must be from the regular elementary building or somewhere else as we are in a different building in a special program. It was a great night, our admission and every one else's was paid for, along with pizza, drinks, dessert and two hours of skating fun. As the night was ending I needed to thank someone for including my family in this celebration and I found a lady who seemed to be in the know? Yes, She told me that she was from the church that sponsored the event. I introduced myself and thanked her for inviting us. I told her that I really didn't recognize any but two of the kids. She said "one of our members has a son in your TD group at school so we wanted to include those kids as well but these kids are all either kids in crisis, or in orphan care awaiting foster hope"
My heart sank... As I replayed the last two hours in my mind. I never once saw a child that I wouldn't want to take home myself. Never heard one bad word. Never saw any arguments. And there weren't 5 or 10. This is the sick part! There were 50 or 60! They were black, white, boys, girls, they were between the ages of 4 or 5 to maybe 15.
They are good kids!!! This is what hurts him!!!!!!! Among many other things!
 PARENTS THESE KIDS NEED YOU!! IF you do not want to be a parent, then quit being so selfish and do something about it! If it is too late then grow up and take some responsibility for your actions. It is not your childs fault that it was born. This is not a kitten that you can just leave and hope that someone takes good care of it. Fact of the matter is there aren't many places or people with the right intentions left. YOU, You made this baby. You gave it life, whether you should have or not it is here and God entrusted you to take care of it, to teach it to love. And YES, you will need to QUIT smoking, drinking, and you can NEVER under any circumstances cause or allow someone to hurt your babies or anything else that is harmful. You might need to shop on the clearance rack, thrift store or receive used items for yourself or even go without so that you can provide whatever your child needs. It is not about you anymore, it is about this little person who cannot make it without you! I am tired too, get over it, Be a parent!
We live in one of the most beautiful areas in the country, not only beautiful, but this area is in ok shape too! This is unacceptable! There is so much hurt around the world already, especially children and now we in such a healthy nation are contributing to it as well and it is all because of selfishness. No I am not saying all parents are failing. Reality is a good portion are...
What I seen tonite makes me hurt!
I will do whatever I need to do to take care of my children, to show them love, and keep us together in this fallen world. I am sorry Lord!

To everything there is a season...

The Bible says for everything and every activity under the sun there is a season    
a time to be born and a time to die,  
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time for war and a time for peace.. Ecclesiastes 3


How profound that scripture is! 
We can easily find times to plant, build, laugh, dance, gather, embrace and mend. 
But who has or even wants to uproot, tear down, weep, and war?
Fact of the matter is, they are a must! Even a bigger fact is, as hard as they may be, they may actually be to our benefit. Some times they are lessons but most times they are for our benefit because he actually does know what is best for us.
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to give you a hope and a future.. Jer 29:11
What we must do is learn to trust him more. One of my favorite stories is when the Lord led the Isrealites out of bondage. They walked and walked finally getting a taste of freedom for the first time. Then they come to what seems like a dead end with soldiers approaching... God did not lead them to that rock just to get slaughtered right there. He said in some different words then mine "Will you trust me?" Although they did for a minute there and continued on in their journey, they still battled trust issues as we all do and they made their own journey much longer then it needed to be. I am sure I am the only Isrealite left that does that! 
Seasons can last 40 years, 8 years or even a few weeks. The hard part is when you are in one of the bad ones for too long or a good one not long enough. Then there is the whole "seasons inside of seasons" thing too! If you don't know what that is, thats just ok too, be glad! 
I would never have chosen a season where I would become a single and sole parent of 3 kids under the age of 3 and for 8 years now, I didn't ask to add some special needs to be thrown in the mix, or to struggle so much. But I know that I begged him for these children, and that they and I have a purpose, whether we know what it is yet or not. That my struggles are small when tossed among others. Just because a season may linger, doesn't mean I have done anything wrong. It may affect me but may not be about me at all. 
Ok, so here is my advice to myself or you during a new or old unwanted season:
I will try and trust you more... Psalm 56:3
While I am waiting, I will serve him...Psalm 27:14
Do everything unto the lord... Col 3:23
Show me your ways, teach me your paths... Psalm 25:4
Choose heavenly rewards over earthly riches... Hebrews 11:26
Have faith- And when you have doubt, look back at the past promises of God.
Thank you Lord for seasons. Whether I want them to come or not, there is a time to weep, scatter, build and make new, forgive me when my flesh is weak, the devil is a liar and I will try and trust in you. Here I am Lord, send me!

BAD PARENT OF THE YEAR GOES TO ME!!!

Last year we were going to pick out new books and Tavey wanted to read the book "Racing in the Rain". My friend Angelle said "I wouldn't let her read that, there is some stuff she can't handle". I respect her so much that I didn't let her. Well, a few weeks ago she came home with the book, she got it from her classroom and it turns out they wrote a "Youth" version of the book. I was even excited for her because she had wanted to read it last year but we decided against it. So now that it had been made into a youth version I thought it would be ok for her. The draw to this book is the dog on the cover as my children may be some of the biggest dog lovers ever to walk this earth. I consider myself pretty sheltering as to what they see, hear and do (not a prude but I don't feel we need to shove the current world down children's hearts, they will see it for themselves soon enough) Be in the world but not of it ~Romans 12:2
If I was a better parent I would have checked into the youth version and known that my very sensitive (just like me) child would not have been able to handle it. She finished it, then proceeded to break down tonite and tell me the torment that she has been going through over it. I feel horrible for her! I tried to reiterate that it was not a true story and it wasn't going to happen to her but her smart self said "I know its not real but it could happen" The reason she was so upset tonite was that her friend was the next one to take it home and she was worried sick that she might have already started to read it. So I told her that I would tell her friends mother and let them decide about it. I also asked her to write down what she was going through to try and get some of this off of her chest and this is what she wrote:

After I read the book "Racing in the rain" (YOUTH Version) I keep having this feeling that I might die. I am worried that I will leave the earth without saying goodbye to my family. It makes me cry. I don't want anybody reading the book. It is not a good book for kids to read. I feel like I need to be by my family at all times. I am scared to go outside alone ever since I read the book. It makes me think that I could of been a much better sister for my brother and sister and a better daughter for my mom. I think about it all day long and wonder if it is true. I have been keeping notes about it on my touch, and I am scared to go to bed in a room by myself without anybody to comfort me or be there for me. I wished I could not have read it or had any interest in it. I hate to hear any words that have to do with dying. I am scared and I don't know why. Sometimes I will cry myself to sleep. I don't like to be alone. Sometimes that is the way I feel. Every night I pray to God and plead to let my alarm wake me up. I WANT TO MEET YOU LORD, BUT JUST NOT YET. I hopefully believe and say to myself that I still have a long life. I am still young. I still have a long way to go. I will show my opinion, That book is terrible for kids and it should not be a kids version. It is just a book that I think nobody should read. I can't stop thinking about it. Even the sight of a yellow lab has instantly made me cry. It just upsets me and ruins my good days by rushing into the bathroom and breaking down in tears. The only good part about the book is that it almost makes you want to improve yourself. Like i started to be quieter in class and I have been trying to be a well behaved girl (like I already am but I don't feel like I am) I almost want to wish that I could feel like a good, well behaved, brave, kind girl. Everyone says and acts like I am, but I guess I don't feel like it. That book just makes me think about all of that. I don't think anybody under the age of 12 should read the book or else they will feel like I did. It is a sad story. Where a woman starts falling in love with a dogs owner. And when the dogs owner "Danny" had gone to the bathroom the woman "Eve" would go and let the dog (who is also the storyteller) named "Enzo' kiss her on the face like any other child who would have a special bond with a dog. And in the story the dog says that he smells something in her head that smells like raw onions, ketchup, strawberries, paint, stale bread, and sushi all mixed together inside of her brain. The dog knew it before her doctors could even find out she had brain cancer. And she winds up dying. Now I really wish I wouldn't have read it. But writing it all down really helps me to try and forget it. Even if I feel like I will remember that thought for the rest of my life. But i still don't want any kids reading that book. And I don't want to read that book again, even as an adult. Its not right for kids or for me.
Tavey Raye Edelman

Itouch entry March 1st-
Today is one of the most scary days of my life. I felt like the zebra was going after me. i am afraid to fall asleep. I still need to apologize to ALOT of people. I was relaxed and energized in the multi purpose room, but when I sat down in the back seat of my hot car I felt like I wouldn't make it another day in a row. I made it to my home down the road. I am still waiting on an answer. If I can make it tonite then I will be able to go to bed and not be scared. Only my sister knows it but I am scared to go outside alone to even get the laundry out of the garage.

Itouch entry March 3rd-
I made it. I am safe from the zebra. Tonight is a night to have a celebration. Thank you lord. I hate you wicked devil. Stop trying to scare me away from the lord. I love you Jesus! Thank you so much because I couldn't bare to leave my family on earth like "eve" in the book, Racing in the rain. I really appreciate it Lord.

Itouch entry March 8th-
Why do I keep having this weird feeling? Please Lord take away that thought. I get scared at the thought.

Please pray for my Tavey! And please pray for me that I would be more careful when it comes to protecting their hearts.
She is asleep now and I pray SWEET SLEEP in the name of JESUS! I pray that her loving and caring heart is healed! I am not condemning the book at all. I fully understand that I gave birth to three very sensitive children that are overly affected by things and thats just ok too! The world needs people that still have feelings...
Harden not your hearts ~Hebrews 3:8

While I was reading her Itouch notes (and yes I asked if I could, she said "Sure" all smiles) I found this and I can't get over it, she really is amazing:
Itouch entry Feb. 29th-
True beauty is on the inside of your heart.
It is not why women put on makeup
It is the key to a kind heart
It is why some people help others and some just stare and laugh.

How profound! Out of a 10 year olds mouth.
Tavey, I love you so much!

Wanna know what a child hoarder looks like?

Well when he is working it may look something like this:

Always hunting for stuff...

I know hilarious right?

Well, I had to clean out Zev's dresser again, 

there was just so much junk piling up.

If it is visible means that there is a lot that is shoved in places and hidden.

So before I show you what I removed from one dresser, 

you need to keep in mind that I just did this less than 6 months ago!

All of this junk,

mostly garbage,

Was all on these shelves, in several buckets and containers, underneath and on top.

I know what you may be thinking:

He's a boy

Kids collect stuff

That's normal

And if so, that's just ok.

Lol, its all funny till you see him on an episode of "Hoarders"

I think I may need to start saving for therapy!

The funny thing is that this kid doesn't even sleep in his room. 

It is like a storage room for garbage.

Anyway, this purge and the last one, he really was ok with it being gone.

I mean I didn't give him a chance to even see any of it really. 

Well, he knew I was doing it, but keeping himself busy with Legos might have taken away the anxiety of loosing leaves, receipts, broken sticks and rocks.

So I guess I will just keep purging and maybe he will just decide 

"might as well not keep this because she will just throw it away" 

Sounds like therapy to me!

He is a great kid, and many times these dumpster treasures become gifts for people he loves. He does have a great big heart. 

Don't worry, as soon as I finished in his room, 

he went to a birthday party and came home with a bag filled with things to start collecting all over again.

I must say, he is becoming quite the godly man and is storing up treasures elsewhere as well!

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also". 

Matthew 6: 19-21

I will pay more for a R.A.K or P.R. then I will for household chores!

Because they make my heart smile more than anything...
So continuing on from my last post~

Back in December I added "get ready in the morning before mom" to the list of things that can earn you a quarter in our house. 
Since then I have also added:
A or B on a test
No black marks on your daily school take home sheet
P.R. -Positive Referral- basically if people come to me and comment on how wonderful you are, 
hard work etc.. = .25
R.A.K- Random act of Kindness-
 you know the kind you do for no reason at all! = .25
Of course the usual chores are on there as well, dishes, laundry, picking up dog poop etc..
But I am more excited about the R.A.K's and P.R's than anything!
We went out to eat one day at Ci-Ci pizzas. The manager was cleaning up around us when he accidentally dropped his tray and the dishes went everywhere, all over the floor. 
Zev jumped up and started picking up these dirty dishes without even caring about how dirty they were or if anyone was watching him, he just wanted to help the man. 
The manager quickly told him "son you don't have to do that" but Zev just kept helping. 
When he sat down I said "R.A.K on the list when you get home". 
The manager came to him about 5 minutes later with 8 Free dinner cards and said "Your a good dude".
 His random act of kindness really paid off, not that he did it for that reason at all. Weeks before that, during Christmas break, we were out shopping when a woman opened the hatchback of her car and stuff was falling all over the road.
 Zev darted across the street to come to her aid. Needless to say he got another R.A.K. 
Sure he and the girls and the rest of the world should do these things all the time but you don't see it very often anymore. So I have no problem paying for something that will turn into a great way to be! 
So this whole new system is really working!!
I was hoping it would last more than a week and it has. I still remind them a lot to go write down what they did so they can get paid, but for the most part they are ahead of me. 
Zev still looses a quarter here and there for not being done before me on a school day (that's right I will pay if they are done before me but if they are not then they pay me!) 
The girls usually get that quarter every day, which is great progress for Hayden who has hard mornings at times. 
So since it is a new year and we are earning money (usually between 2.00-5.00 per week per child) I thought we need to work on saving now. 
The kids are good about tithing to church but then are real quick to blow the rest as quick as they get it. 
I will give them credit that when they buy something they usually put thought into it but I would like to see them start saving a little more.
So I went to our local Walmart got a case of 12 Mason jars and came up with the new savings plan.
10% to tithe
20% to savings
10% to the charity of your choice
10% towards a future vacation
The remaining 50% of what you earned is spending money and goes in your wallet. 
The kids are excited about it, and so am I that they understand that the rest is still theirs but it will grow and produce fruit!
Kelly~

Ecclesiastes 11:2
Divide your portion to seven, or even to eight, 
for you do not know what misfortune may occur on the earth. 
Corinthians 16:2
On the first day of every week each one of you is to put aside and save
Proverbs 21:20
The wise man saves for the future but the foolish man spends whatever he gets