If I was a better parent I would have checked into the youth version and known that my very sensitive (just like me) child would not have been able to handle it. She finished it, then proceeded to break down tonite and tell me the torment that she has been going through over it. I feel horrible for her! I tried to reiterate that it was not a true story and it wasn't going to happen to her but her smart self said "I know its not real but it could happen" The reason she was so upset tonite was that her friend was the next one to take it home and she was worried sick that she might have already started to read it. So I told her that I would tell her friends mother and let them decide about it. I also asked her to write down what she was going through to try and get some of this off of her chest and this is what she wrote:
After I read the book "Racing in the rain" (YOUTH Version) I keep having this feeling that I might die. I am worried that I will leave the earth without saying goodbye to my family. It makes me cry. I don't want anybody reading the book. It is not a good book for kids to read. I feel like I need to be by my family at all times. I am scared to go outside alone ever since I read the book. It makes me think that I could of been a much better sister for my brother and sister and a better daughter for my mom. I think about it all day long and wonder if it is true. I have been keeping notes about it on my touch, and I am scared to go to bed in a room by myself without anybody to comfort me or be there for me. I wished I could not have read it or had any interest in it. I hate to hear any words that have to do with dying. I am scared and I don't know why. Sometimes I will cry myself to sleep. I don't like to be alone. Sometimes that is the way I feel. Every night I pray to God and plead to let my alarm wake me up. I WANT TO MEET YOU LORD, BUT JUST NOT YET. I hopefully believe and say to myself that I still have a long life. I am still young. I still have a long way to go. I will show my opinion, That book is terrible for kids and it should not be a kids version. It is just a book that I think nobody should read. I can't stop thinking about it. Even the sight of a yellow lab has instantly made me cry. It just upsets me and ruins my good days by rushing into the bathroom and breaking down in tears. The only good part about the book is that it almost makes you want to improve yourself. Like i started to be quieter in class and I have been trying to be a well behaved girl (like I already am but I don't feel like I am) I almost want to wish that I could feel like a good, well behaved, brave, kind girl. Everyone says and acts like I am, but I guess I don't feel like it. That book just makes me think about all of that. I don't think anybody under the age of 12 should read the book or else they will feel like I did. It is a sad story. Where a woman starts falling in love with a dogs owner. And when the dogs owner "Danny" had gone to the bathroom the woman "Eve" would go and let the dog (who is also the storyteller) named "Enzo' kiss her on the face like any other child who would have a special bond with a dog. And in the story the dog says that he smells something in her head that smells like raw onions, ketchup, strawberries, paint, stale bread, and sushi all mixed together inside of her brain. The dog knew it before her doctors could even find out she had brain cancer. And she winds up dying. Now I really wish I wouldn't have read it. But writing it all down really helps me to try and forget it. Even if I feel like I will remember that thought for the rest of my life. But i still don't want any kids reading that book. And I don't want to read that book again, even as an adult. Its not right for kids or for me.
Tavey Raye Edelman
Itouch entry March 1st-
Today is one of the most scary days of my life. I felt like the zebra was going after me. i am afraid to fall asleep. I still need to apologize to ALOT of people. I was relaxed and energized in the multi purpose room, but when I sat down in the back seat of my hot car I felt like I wouldn't make it another day in a row. I made it to my home down the road. I am still waiting on an answer. If I can make it tonite then I will be able to go to bed and not be scared. Only my sister knows it but I am scared to go outside alone to even get the laundry out of the garage.
Itouch entry March 3rd-
I made it. I am safe from the zebra. Tonight is a night to have a celebration. Thank you lord. I hate you wicked devil. Stop trying to scare me away from the lord. I love you Jesus! Thank you so much because I couldn't bare to leave my family on earth like "eve" in the book, Racing in the rain. I really appreciate it Lord.
Itouch entry March 8th-
Why do I keep having this weird feeling? Please Lord take away that thought. I get scared at the thought.
Please pray for my Tavey! And please pray for me that I would be more careful when it comes to protecting their hearts.
She is asleep now and I pray SWEET SLEEP in the name of JESUS! I pray that her loving and caring heart is healed! I am not condemning the book at all. I fully understand that I gave birth to three very sensitive children that are overly affected by things and thats just ok too! The world needs people that still have feelings...
Harden not your hearts ~Hebrews 3:8
While I was reading her Itouch notes (and yes I asked if I could, she said "Sure" all smiles) I found this and I can't get over it, she really is amazing:
Itouch entry Feb. 29th-
True beauty is on the inside of your heart.
It is not why women put on makeup
It is the key to a kind heart
It is why some people help others and some just stare and laugh.
How profound! Out of a 10 year olds mouth.
Tavey, I love you so much!
