Actually we function fairly well!
We are taking our everyday challenges and choosing to laugh through them.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Everyone is all hung up on looks...

Posting this after a somewhat of a rough weekend and start to this week already.
Sunday, I noticed she was getting a little loud but we were outside so it was ok. But then at the Basspro shop while we were letting Zev shop with his gift cards things got a little "funner".
He had to go to the bathroom and didn't want to go in the mens room because too many men were in there (yes, he has issues too). So I had to take him to the ladies room and the girls were looking around while we were in there. When I found Hayden she was in a boat that they were letting her "drive" to keep her busy till her parent (me) came because they had to continue to remove her from the fish tank. Yes the big fish tank! She kept dangling her arms in the top of the tank and was trying to catch one of the big fish :) So I got her and kept her with me and we let Zev finish shopping. I got a little irritated with her as her behavior continued to deteriorate. I still needed to go to Walmart and a few other places but I didn't know if we were going to make it much longer. We went strait to Walmart where it seemed like forces were pulling her in every direction. She could not focus on my voice, what she wanted to say, do or anything. She was humming loudly and making different noises with her mouth and sitting upside down in the cart. Yes, she is too big for the cart but we had come to that point. I don't think she even knew she was doing any of it. I was supposed to get a bunch of things for Zev's class and we needed a lot of stuff for the house but we only had about 4 things in the cart when I said "we have to leave". I just couldn't handle much more. I didn't want to loose my self control and I could sense myself starting to. We took our 4 things to the checkout line and Zev had one item as well that he wanted to pay for separately. Zev's separate purchase wound up causing us another 10 minutes due to the register not scanning something right so this gave Hayden some more time to really lose it. At one point she was on the check out belt like you would place an item, then under it, then crawling on the floor, then back on the check out belt, talking really loud at the lady about what she needed to do at the register like the lady didn't know her job.
It was really kind of sad more than anything. I knew something was wrong and I had a real good idea what it was.
When I walked in the door it was 7pm, I saw her cup filled with pills. Just what I had suspected. She didn't have her medicine. Which is 5 different pills.
We have went without them once or twice before and when we do we try to stay in to make life easier.
I guess it was a good reminder of the help she gets from them. I wasn't happy about starting them years ago but I eventually knew that we had to.
If I could be perfectly honest though sometimes I would like to let her go without all her medications so all of the "so called experts" who like to diagnose everyone can see how she is without them and has to try to function.
 "She doesn't look Autistic"
If your job is a cashier that doesn't make you proficient in Autism related disorders.
If you saw the movie "Rainman" no you are not able to spot Autistic people.
If you work in a day care, you are not a neurologist. There is a reason that you make 7$ and hour and they make $175 and hour.
If you are a teacher, you may have dealt with some similar traits but that doesn't make you an expert either on whether they are or are not on the Autism spectrum. Nor can you"fix them, because you have a kid and know how to handle them"
They are not murderers, bombers, crazies, or any other stereotypical stuff that is going on lately.
If you would just stop taking their "not typical" behavior personal and stop blaming the parents than maybe some of them will stop growing up to be confused, stressed, depressed adults.
That night we talked about how hard of a day she had and she didn't remember much of it but she said "I am really sorry" I told her it was ok and that I was sorry too.
Do I ever think it will get better, Yes. I am claiming that!
Neuropsych says that she will always be behind her age group in social things for a while. When she was 10 she was more like 5 and when she is 20 she will be like 15 and she says hopefully when she is 30 she will be caught up or near there.
So don't be ignorant and don't teach your children to be ignorant either. Teach them kindness to everyone. If you can't handle someone who acts different without giving them a dirty look or saying something ignorant then PLEASE do not take a job that has anything to do with children at all.

 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
John 9:2-3

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