Love Dare~ Day 3 "Love is Not Selfish"

Well, how did day 2 go? There are still a few hours left if you have not done that "act of kindness for no reason at all". I have learned that doing an act of kindness is a lot easier if everyone is having a good day. When there are issues between a husband and wife or parent and child then no one is in a big rush to be extra kind. But truly this is where we can make breakthroughs. 

Day 3 may be one of the easiest days for the parent/child teams. When you became a parent you gave up all of your selfish ways. We'll most parents do. But there are a lot of parents out there who will put their own selfish wants before their children's needs. Not only neglecting them but teaching and showing them that they are not as important as other things like drugs, alcohol, etc..
If today comes extremely easy for you then pray for the child who is left alone, while his or her parent is out seeking the next high. Then pray for that parent too.

Day 3

Love is not selfish

 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor. —Romans 12:10

We live in a world that is enamored with “self.” The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal, it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking, however, becomes painfully apparent once inside a marriage relationship(family).

If there were ever a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness.Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can see it in the way young children act, and often in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful action ever committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. It is a trait we hate in other people but justify in ourselves. Yet you cannot point out the many ways your spouse(child) is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too. That would be hypocritical.

Why do we have such low standards for ourselves but high expectations for our mate(children)? The answer is a painful pill to swallow. We are all selfish.

When a husband(parent) puts his interests, desires, and priorities in front of his wife(children), that’s a sign of selfishness. When a wife(parent) constantly complains about the time and energy she spends meeting the needs of her husband(child), that’s a sign of selfishness. But love “does not seek its own” (1 Corinthians 13:5). Loving couples(parents)—the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage(family)—are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human(Children) they get to share life with. That’s because true love looks for ways to say “yes.”

One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. If you do even a good thing to deceitfully manipulate your husband or wife(child), you are still being selfish. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself.

Love is never satisfied except in the welfare of others. You can’t be acting out of real love and selfishness at the same time. Choosing to love your mate(child) will cause you to say “no” to what you want so you can say “yes” to what they need. That’s putting the happiness of your partner (child)above your own. It doesn’t mean you can never experience happiness, but you don’t negate the happiness of your spouse (child)so you can enjoy it yourself.

Love also leads to inner joy. When you prioritize the well-being of your mate(child), there is a resulting fulfillment that cannot be duplicated by selfish actions. This is a benefit that God created and reserves for those who genuinely demonstrate love. The truth is, when you relinquish your rights for the sake of your mate(child), you get a chance to lose yourself to the greater purpose of marriage(parenthood).

Nobody knows you as well as your spouse.(Your child knows you pretty well) And that means no one will be quicker(they will be pretty quick) to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants and wishes to make sure his or her needs are met.

If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse(child), then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife(child)?

• Do I want them to feel loved by me?

• Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?

• Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whether you like it or not, you have a reputation in the eyes of those around you, especially in the eyes of your spouse(child). But is it a loving reputation? Remember, your marriage partner (child) also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. And when all is said and done, you’ll both be more fulfilled.

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).

Today’s Dare

 Whatever you put your time, energy, and
money into will become more important
to you. It’s hard to care for something
you are not investing in. Along with
restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse(child) something that says,

“I was thinking of you today.”

______check here when you have completed today's dare
What did you choose as the gift for your spouse(child)?
What happened when you gave it to them?
What was their response?